Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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