Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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