no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
