And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Randomize
