I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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