pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
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