If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
