Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
