I could have mohawked her pubes.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
so much tequila, so little girl.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
