Where is the hickey?
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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