Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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