Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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