If that was your dad, he is hot
What did we do last night that was yellow?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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