shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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