Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
