I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
