Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
The beer is more important than you right now.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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