I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
