dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
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