I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
