This is not my ceiling
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
