So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I can't turn off my feet"
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
