for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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