im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
