chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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