He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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