omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
