apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
