just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
