Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
