some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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