Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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