Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
