so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
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