Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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