Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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