We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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