I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
