are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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