i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
It's never too late to be topless.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
