You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
