Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
