I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
He is an equal opportunity slut.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
