...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
