Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
