thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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