Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
