I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
You made out with two different species that night
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
