I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
