I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
