I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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