Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
