Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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