My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
